You Should Own...

A high quality pocket knife which should always be with you, even in the shower...water won't hurt them.  Ideally, you would have several, depending upon the occasion.  Yes, I collect them obsessively, so it is hard for me to be rational about this, but I'll do my best to be realistic for the normal man.  An Italian switchblade is always cool to have.  They're not terribly useful in a utilitarian sense, but there's nothing like the swish and solid click of one opening and while everyone is trying to figure out what the sound was, you've already sliced through that curling ribbon or into that vacuum packaging that is taking over the World.  A better choice is a Benchmade Osborne Axis.  My favorite is the Griptilian.  I have one in every color...no, that isn't gay.  It snaps open with either a thumb stud or hole and a practiced flick of the wrist with a resounding "thwack" sound.  And, it's about the most sturdy and durable knife anyone could ever ask for.  These are three of my favorites plus a little Case XXX that I drop in my pocket for rare occasions where a knife clipped to my belt might not be appropriate.  Let's be realistic about it, how often does somebody ask if anybody has a "sharp knife" or a pair of scissors?  Because you are a man, you need to be the one who always does.

You have to have a leather bomber jacket.  I was well into adulthood before I realized that there were some men who didn't own a leather bomber.  I think if I have to explain why you need one of these you may be a lost cause.  But, I don't give up on anything...even when I should.  A man should smell like glycerine soap and leather.  Guys who fall for body spray ads: wise the hell up.  A man should never smell like a French whore house.  Even expensive cologne...nope.  Just ask my wife.  Every once in a while out of sheer ignorance I have put on cologne.  From several rooms away I hear this lovely, lilting voice start to fill with venom as she asks, "You didn't just put cologne on did you?"A leather bomber obviously goes way beyond the smell.  They are just something you can't go wrong with.  They never wear out and God knows I've tried.  See that black one with the zippers on the cuff?  Well, that isn't a bomber, but its a leather motorcycle jacket just like the one Brando wore in The Wild Ones.  I've had it since I was a teenager.  You have to actually buy them distressed if you want them to look that way.  This one has seen more asphalt and dirt at high speed than I care to remember and it still looks kinda new.  I have one lambskin bomber that has started to look like I've put some wear on it.  But then, it's almost as old as the Hell's Angel's jacket.  The sad part for me is that this is a photo of one corner of my closet in my house in Southern California, where I happen to be as I write this.  Most of my leather jackets are at the Yosemite house where it actually gets cold.

A leather, satchel style briefcase/Indiana Jones bag is a must too.  I have several, but this is by far my favorite. I've had it since grad school and its had everything from Nahuatl documents to AK-47 clips in it.  I've really beat the hell out of this one even though I've actually tried to take care of it.  Every once in a while I just rub it down thoroughly with mink oil.  I think the scratches actually add character to it.  Especially since I remember where most of them came from.  Way back when, it was pristine and I wasn't thinking about being an old dude looking back on it, so every scratch was kind of traumatic.  But, now, its just getting broken in.  Over the years, I've collected other bags for different uses and now this one carries mostly important papers.  It's kind of hard to find just the right one.  I consider myself quite lucky having found this one early in life.  But you really do need to start looking for your own if you don't have one already.  They are lifelong companions.